A light blue cakle with pink frosting that reads: “Happy Breakup!”

Readers Respond: Dine and Dump

BY Steph Wilson

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Are you looking for the perfect place to dump your no-longer-loved one? We shared some of our suggestions in a post about two weeks ago—and reader response was swift.

Not everyone loved the premise of our picks. Facebook comments about our post range from “Wtf. I don’t even want to read this article lol” to “How is this a thing?” and “Imagine being asked out to one of these restaurants now.” 

But some of our other readers, well, they had a lot to say on the subject. 

In their comments on a DiningOut Facebook post, readers offer their own insight—and some of them were completely brutal. Especially Wesley’s, which suggested:

“The Brutal Poodle”

That answer’s the winner in my book, but depending on your mood, relationship, or personality, you may be more like Mike’s, who’s only got a few more months for his dream spot to come back to life:

“Wish casa Bonita was still open. Do the dumping then dive off the cliff!”

As for Kate’s suggestion, we die:

“Linger. Leave that body cold.”

Katrina thinks it can only get better from here:

“Rock Bottom”

Brendan takes things quite literally:

“Chop House lol has a fitting name”

As does Jack:

“In and out!”

Blanton might be a little bitter:

“Smelly Deli”

Sean takes things quite literally:

“X Bar”

Some of our readers, on the other hand, had helpful suggestions. Kalen suggests:

“Milwaukee St Tavern. They have the most exits!”

Sha Na Na Na has another idea:

“Lakeview Lounge. They have a microwave so it counts. Plus they open at 7am and only take cash. Get it over early with no paper trail.”

Priscilla’s ready to take a page from The Wedding Singer:

“Star Bar on a Tuesday so you can sing a heartfelt breakup ballad”

Dawn writes:

“Any bar with a Patio, so you can meet for Drinks & make it Quick with an escape route. Plus, there’s usually less people out there so as to not make a scene. It doesn’t look so weird if 1 person suddenly leaves the table.”

Gary’s hopeful it won’t come to that:

“Satchels on 6th…great food and atmosphere…you may have a change of heart.”

As for Emily, she’s down to drown their sorrow in a milkshake:

“Sam’s No.3. They’ll forget how sad they are when their milkshake, ravioli, green chili, and Greek salad arrive.”

Whitney’s reply is quite helpful:

“Sputnik because nobody cares about you or is paying much attention to you and it’s dark and brooding already and the drinks are cheap and the comfort food is ample so you can drown your sorrows in anonymity without feeling self conscious.”

Christopher appears to assume he’s the dumpee, not the dumper:

“Cherry Crickets or My Brothers Bar. At least you can still stick around and enjoy your burger”

And Kathy wants to raise a glass to the end of an era:

“Don’s! So after you do they can drink their sorrows away (or celebrate lol).”

And some still shared stories of public breakups they’ve witnessed out in the wild:

Dennis recalls:

“I saw the best breakup happen at Tom’s Diner. Lady grabbed the guy’s full plate of food and flung it straight up and onto her imminent X’s shirt and lap and stomped out of the restaurant. Alas, Tom’s is no long a safe place for such behavior”

Terri shares:

“Sushi Den… AKA “The dumping den”! Personally watched 2 breakups go down there”

We feel for Lyndsay, who wrote:

Hapa in Lodo is apparently a great place to learn you’ve been cheated on. Again.

But Sean had the final word on the subject:

“The answer is… don’t do it in public”

But then Moontime Crepes chimed in:

“Moontime Crepes! we like watching drama”

Then Chey asks the question that’s on all of our minds.

“People have relationships here??”

And Devon follows it up:

“Now how does one find someone to date in the first place in Denver …”

We’ve got some ideas… Stay tuned.


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Steph Wilson

Steph Wilson is a writer, editor, and creative maximalist in Denver. She makes magazines for a living and throws color around the world like confetti for fun.
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