Sh*t Guests Say to Make Servers Flip

BY Kevin Fox

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Fellow servers, we hear the strangest requests, listen through life stories, and wield patience akin to that of a lion. Ah, the cacophony of culinary chaos and the symphony of service quirks that echo through the hallowed halls of dining establishments. Picture this: a world where the banter between servers and patrons is as diverse as the spices in a well-crafted dish. Join me as we traverse the amusing landscape of “Sh*t Guests Say to Make Servers Flip Their Lid,” a narrative worthy of the culinary chronicles.

As someone who’s navigated the restaurant business from the mile-high culinary haven of Denver to the bustling scene of the East Coast, I’ve learned to have skin thicker than a well-aged steak when it comes to guest responses. The nightly stories shared among fellow servers—oh, how I miss those! From the quirkiness of Denver to the fast-paced encounters out East, every dining experience has been a chapter in my culinary journey.

Here, in the heart of Denver, amidst the mile-high culinary offerings, some of the city’s finest servers anonymously share snippets of the remarks that have left an indelible mark on their dining experiences:

  • THERE’S NO PRICE ON THIS, I GUESS IT’S FREE!” – A classic gag more recycled than a plastic straw, adding a pinch of comic relief to the dining experience.
  • “But what’s your real job?” – A curious query, implying that serving is merely a warm-up act in life’s circus of careers, where the real showstopper remains backstage.
  • “I know the owner.” – A proclamation as common as ketchup on fries, often prompting a covert eye-roll among servers—after all, who doesn’t know the owner these days?
  • “You should smile more.” – An unsolicited piece of advice served as frequently as breadsticks, about as welcome as a spoonful of wasabi in place of guacamole.
  • Pointing to an empty plate “I didn’t like it.” – The refined art of conveying distaste without uttering a single word, leaving servers pondering the silent critique.
  • “I didn’t know the salsa would be so tomatoey.” – A stroke of revelation akin to discovering that water is, in fact, wet. Quite the groundbreaking observation!
  • “It’s not on the menu, but can I have [made up thing]?” – A daring plunge into the abyss of make-believe dishes, as though asking for the chef’s secret unicorn stew recipe.
  • “Make my steak medium-to-medium-rare-to-rare.” – A linguistic tightrope act across the spectrum of meat doneness, challenging the kitchen to perform a culinary triple axel.
  • “Can I get raspberry jam for my garlic toast?” – A flavor fusion adventure rivaling the likes of chocolate-covered pickles or peanut butter sushi—bold, unexpected, and questionable.
  • “I’ll have a virgin dirty martini.” – A paradoxical order, akin to asking for a decaf espresso or a meatless steak. A true puzzler for mixologists.
  • “Can I have your number?” – A bold request, blurring the line between friendly rapport and a mistaken assumption that the server moonlights as a matchmaking service.
  • “Can you turn the AC up/down?” – A temperature tango rivaling a salsa dance-off, where personal preferences for climate control take center stage.
  • “Got a new cook back there?” – An inquiry tinged with suspicion, hinting at the mystery behind the kitchen’s culinary performance, akin to asking if the magician’s assistant is new.
  • “What’s the most popular item on the menu?” – A quest for guidance through the jungle of endless choices, seeking the culinary Holy Grail amidst a sea of dishes.
  • “Can I just get water with extra lemon and some more sugars?” – A customized H2O concoction worthy of a mixologist’s imagination, turning hydration into a citric spectacle.
  • “Do you guys have napkins?” – A seemingly straightforward request for dining essentials, as if napkins were an exotic relic from a forgotten civilization.
  • “Take this cash and put the rest on the card.” – WE WANT THE CASH AS A TIP BTW! – A financial maneuver as delicate as a Jenga tower, signaling a not-so-subtle tip preference.
  • “What do you mean, the substitution is extra?!” – A quest for culinary customization, encountering the reality of the financial consequences, akin to finding a surprise charge for sprinkles on a sundae.

Did we miss one? Visit our Instagram to comment on your most-heard guest comments that made you flip!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kevin Fox

Kevin Fox is an entrepreneur and branding consultant who helps companies create compelling content and achieve success through powerful marketing initiatives. After spending over two decades in traditional media, Mr. Kevin Fox recognized the power of digital developments and has been instrumental in bringing brands to new heights through his innovative work in social media, video production, and website development. Mr. Kevin Fox believes in creating meaningful connections with customers and believes that is the key to a successful brand strategy.

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